I was born October 15, 1945 at the York hospital in York Pa. My parents were German descendants. My father was married before he married my mother. His first wife did not recover from a spleen operation. My father’s parents and his only sister lived a good long life. His dad lived to be eighty six, his sister lived to be ninety two, and my dad’s mother lived to the ripe old age of 102. At 100 her mind was pretty good, and she got around with just a walker. My mother’s parents only lived to their late fifties. I have a brother almost three years older than me. He worked most of his life as an executive, then from age 55 to 70 he pastored a United Methodist church. He has been married 53 years to a fine Christian lady. My brother and his wife have 2 boys, and 3 grandkids.

I had a great childhood. My brother and I went on some nice trips with my parents. My favorite trip was the trip to New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, St. Paul, and Detroit. The first time I saw New York City I was really fascinated with the skyline. I had the thrill of seeing New York from the top of the Empire State Building. I got lost in the United Nations Building. I don’t remember how my mother found me. I was only six years old. I was fascinated with Chicago. We stayed at the Edgewater Beach Hotel along one of the Great Lakes. I saw my first baseball game there. Went from Chicago to Minneapolis and St. Paul. I don’t remember much of those two cities. I took my first plane ride from there to Detroit. I remember looking down at the clouds that looked like big cotton balls. In Detroit I found it interesting to watch how cars are made. Took a plane from Detroit to New York City, then a train from New York to Lancaster. My dad picked up his car, then drove us home to York.

The other big trip we took two years later (I really enjoyed) that was to Florida. On the trip in Florida, I saw the oldest house and the oldest schoolhouse in the country in St. Augustine Florida. We visited a marine studio, saw seals jump up. Visited a snake farm, and actually had a snake around my neck. In southern Florida we stopped at the Florida Everglades. Walking around the Everglades was like walking around a jungle. I never saw so many bugs at one time, and my parents, brother, and I had many insect bites. The windshield of the car was just covered with dead insects. It was rainy most of the time in Miami, but I enjoyed riding around in the car and walking. I especially enjoyed seeing all those big palm trees.

One thing I really enjoyed on those trips was riding on a train. To me it was such a comfortable way to travel with the big windows. We took a train from Lancaster Pa. to New York City, and then the Broadway Limited from New York to Chicago. We slept on the train going to Chicago. For the trip to Florida, we got on the train at Baltimore MD, and slept on the train that got to Jacksonville Fla. the next morning. My dad rented a car that took us to Miami Fla. Then coming back we were on the train for eighteen hours. For cub scouts, I did a scrapbook on trains. I got old magazines, and cut out clippings that showed trains.

One thing that helped to make my childhood so nice was the times my brother and I had with our dog. My brother and I could dress her, and take her for wagon rides. The way we got the dog was on August 7, 1951 when the owner of a small grocery store one half mile from us delivered the dog to us. My parents agreed to keep the dog. My brother named her Brownie for she was light brown...Brownie lived for 15 yrs.

Another thing that was impressionable about my childhood was that I got along well with my classmates. I had one friend that I spent much time with, and we enjoyed the same games.

On my father’s side were my dad’s parents, and his sister whom my brother and I were especially close to. My dad’s sister often took us to the movies, and then to the 5-10 for a soda. My dad’s mother usually baby sat for my brother and me when my parents went out for the evening.

My parents belonged to a Country Club that had a nice pool. I learned to swim when I was nine. The summer of 1955 was the hottest summer I can ever remember. My mother and my brother and I were at the pool at least three days a week. I loved swimming. My grandfather took my brother and me to Caledonia park near Chambersburg Pa.

I had fun playing with my brother. We played hide an o sneak at a large open area with trees and bushes my brother called the royal gardens. My brother got a tape recorder one Christmas. Had fun with it pretending to produce shows.

I had fun going to the York fair, to Hershey Park, and to a picnic .I enjoyed playing with toys of small plastic bricks, and making structures with Lincoln Logs. As a kid I was fascinated watching a building being built especially if it entailed the laying of bricks.

In June of 1956, my mother wrote a nine page article she titled, “Faith in God Made Him Talk. Here are some excerpts,

“When Melvin was born he appeared to be very normal. At six months of age my child contacted measles. He was very sick running a temperature of 104 degrees for several days and finally 105.

At three and a half he could not understand a thing that was being said to him. We decided on a large medical center to have tests and x-rays made. The doctor said he found that there were some brain cells that had not developed, and he felt they never would. He felt this condition was caused by the high fever from the German measles. He stated that our child would never be any better than he was at that moment. Seven years ago I sat in the doctor’s office and heard those heart breaking words. The doctor said, “He wasn’t going to talk because he didn’t have the mental capacity to do so.” The doctor went on further to say that when he reached the right age he would have to be institutionalized. This was indeed a bleak picture.

I made up my mind that I was going to pray for my child to talk. Four days after I started to pray my child said his first word, “daddy.” Thanks to my older son, he started to teach the boy to talk. Around five years of age he learned to talk fairly plainly.

He is 10 and a half years of age, and will enter the fourth grade. My prayers were indeed answered. It takes him considerably longer to learn then a normal child, but once he has learned something it stays with him.

One psychiatrist in our town who has tested my child several times still tells me that every time she tests him she is amazed at the results. She says that never in all her experiences has she gotten such amazing results from a child with such a history as this. Were those brain cells completely destroyed”? Were there not as many destroyed? We will never know. To me it is a miracle that could only occur through complete faith in prayer.”

I had a dedicated 2nd. And 3rd. grade teacher named E.D. Thompson. She gave me a little more individual attention then she did the other students. It appeared that Mrs. Thompson took a great interest in me. Towards the end of the second grade, the teacher commented on the report card that she is well pleased with my progress especially in reading. In the third grade the teacher remarked how I had made nice progress, and that I get along well with others.

In Sept. 1955 with me being almost ten, my parents had me change to a different school. I don’t know why they had me do this. I went to Grantley school. At Grantley school I was just in the third grade. Even though it was just the 3rd. grade, it seemed to me that the studies were a little more difficult. For one thing, I don’t remember getting a little more individual attention.

In Sept. of 1956, I went to another school called Valley View. I was in the fourth grade. That was a little more difficult for me yet. I stayed in this school until I moved with my parents and brother to New England the beginning of Dec. 1956.

In Dec. 1956, my parents, brother, and I moved to Andover Ma. My father had the position as vice president of sales of a printing company in York. In March 1956 the company went out of business. My father was out of work for seven months with no income coming in. They drained their savings account. My father got a good job as a sales executive with Champion International Paper in Lawrence Ma. My dad had to take quite a cut in salary. It was quite an adjustment for my parents to have to live on a fairly tight budget. We ate well and were often able to take local trips touring the area within a fifty mile range. We moved from a nice home that had a large living room, a large dining room, a sun room, 3 bedrooms, and two bathrooms to renting a home that was smaller except for the bedrooms. I shared a bedroom with my brother. The place had an attic and a basement smaller than in the house in York.

Moving to New England was quite an adjustment for me. I was away from my relatives. I got a lot of attention from my aunt, and my grandmother. One thing with my being slow in catching onto new things, they made a lot of fuss over me when I was able to do those new things. I was away from my old classmates whom I enjoyed. It seemed as though I didn’t mix well with my new classmates. There were a number of students who called me names. A couple of reasons for that could have been due to my being shy, and perhaps my having a different accent. Not having my relatives, not mixing well with my classmates, and having parents whose moods changed due to leaving York, and a big change in their financial situation left me having emotional problems. The comment that my teacher A.F. Walsh wrote on the report card April 1957 was, “Melvin cries easily and gets disturbed so I am placing him with the older group hoping for social growth. There were many mornings I could not eat all of my breakfast for I had stomach aches due to nerves.

Even the colder climate was something to get use to. In January 1957 one morning it was -10 degrees, then -25, and still one morning it actually got down to -35. This was unusual even for Andover Ma. We got a number of snowstorms ranging from 6 inches to a foot. We were so fascinated with all the snow, and how the snow clung to all the tree branches. My dad took many pictures of the snow with his movie camera. I remember once my dad taking a picture of me with my brother shoveling snow. When I saw my picture being taken on the movie film, I acted surprised. I accidently lifted my shovel in the wrong direction and hit my brother lightly on his head with the shovel. Fortunately he did not get hurt, but it sure looked funny, seeing the way my brother jumped with his hands up. If videos would have been around in 1957, that would have been worth sending to, “America’s Funniest Home Videos.”

In 1957, I was 11 years old, and I was in a special class for slower learners. I did well with getting a “B” average. I was doing 4th grade work. Next year I did better with me averaging B’s and A’s. That year I had a great teacher named Mary E. Donahue. In her working with me, she went beyond the call of duty, and she always seemed positive about me. My mom wrote a comment to Mrs. Donahue that, “You must be working wonders with Melvin.” In the spring of 1958 I was given IQ tests. Mrs. Donahue showed the results to the principal. The principal recommended that I be promoted to the 7th. Grade in a regular class. My parents were apprehensive of my going to the 7th. Grade, but they relied on the principal’s judgement. In Sept. of 1958, I started the 7th. Grade. The first half of the year was a struggle. The first quarter I got “D” in math, English, and social studies. The second quarter I got “C’s” in science, and social studies, but still a D in English and dropped down to an F in math. One big problem I had with math was division of decimals. I got confused as to the right place to put the decimal point. I did better the last half of the year. I ended the year with “C” in each subject except a D in math. In the 8th. Grade I did better. I took the same subjects and finished with a B in social studies. I got C’s in the other subjects. In the ninth grade I took the same subjects and I got all “C’s except I flunked algebra. I had to go back to general math. I got “C’s in that.

I was doing better in school, but I had another problem. In the 8th. And 9th. Grade I had a few bullies. Once a classmate made me fall while I was running. Thank God I didn’t hurt myself, but it knocked the wind out of me. Once a classmate gave me what appeared to me to be a small piece of candy. Here it was an ex-lax. The boys asked me how many times I headed to the boys room. Too bad I didn’t need it. Those bullies a number of times would hit me. There were times I got tired of it, and I would strike back. Sometimes they would strike back, sometimes they would not.

July of 1959, 1960, and 1961 I went to a YMCA camp on a big lake in central New Hampshire. I enjoyed the second and third year better than the first year. The first year at camp was a new experience for me, for it was a time of my learning more responsibility.

I went out for many activities such as archery, arts and crafts, and nature. I enjoyed swimming the most. Another thing I remembered was a three day camping trip where I climbed two thirds of the way up Mt. Washington. I still remember finding a big patch of snow where each of us had a snowball fight in July!

Whenever I changed my clothes the first year at camp I must have thrown my clothes any old place. When I got home there were a number of underpants, and some shirts and pants that I did not bring home. My parents felt like licking me for my being so careless. Fortunately about two weeks after I was home, the clothes were found and delivered.

When I got to 10th. Grade I was in a new school. I did not have students picking on me anymore. The tenth grade was a little tougher for me then junior high. In the tenth grade, English was my toughest subject. I had problems with reading. I was bored with English literature. My second toughest subject was biology. The other subjects were mechanical drawing one, general math, and I got B’s in both. English I averaged a D and barely averaged a C in biology. 11th. Grade was tougher then 10th. Grade. English was tougher for me. I almost flunked English for the year with me barely getting a D average. I had history and I wasn’t much interested in it, and I got D’s. I got C’s in economics, and B’s in geometry. In the 12th grade I did better. I did better in English and history getting C’s in both. I got B’s in general math, and B’s in mechanical drawing 2. I actually got an A last quarter in math.

At the age of sixteen, I still had problems assuming responsibility, and I would not think before I would act. For instance, one time when I was changing my clothes in the school locker room, I sat an electric watch down where people could see it with my clothes. When I came back to the locker after gym, I could not find the watch. I had to tell my dad. My father was angry, and he said that to have had that watch where it could be seen, you might as well have put a sign on it saying “take me.” I found the watch. I don’t remember to this day how I found it.

My handling responsibility poorly concerned my parents. They were concerned I would have problems holding a job, and living on my own someday. I would get lectures when I did anything that appeared that I was acting stupid. They tried to correct me in the best way they knew how for my own good. With my being so shy and insecure, I took their correction as a loss of my parent’s approval. I know they loved me and cared about me .I use to dread working on projects around the house with my father for I felt he was critical of how I conducted myself.

In April of 1964 after taking a driver Ed course I passed the test then got my driver’s license. My parents had another challenge with me. That challenge was to work with me in my starting to become a good driver. My parents were smart in having me get experience in driving. That way I would not be so prone to having an automobile accident. My mother was the one to teach me to be a good experienced driver. My mother was always a bit tense even with an experienced driver, you can imagine how tense she was with me. As she was tense with me, I was just as tense. What made it tougher yet was my learning to be a good driver with a full size family car. For instance the garage that I had to back out of was narrow to begin with. There were times when I backed the car out crooked. The side fender was about three inches from the side of the garage. My mother would scream, “watch it, you are going to scrape the side of the car.” My throat would be dry after I finished a driving lesson. After about two months my mother felt confident that I could drive alone and I did.

In April of 1964 there was a change in my father’s occupation. When Champion International Paper was acquired by a large paper company (Oxford Paper) my father was reassigned to be regional sales manager. When Oxford Paper Co. was acquired by the Ethyl Co., changes were made. My father was without a job. Within a week my father got a job as a traveling salesman extending from Pennsylvania to North Carolina with Watervliet Paper Co. Thank God my father got a good job within a week after he lost his job. My father had large financial responsibilities at the age of 59. My brother was a junior at Brown University, and I was going to go to a vocational school to take in a one year course.

After finishing with a B average in mechanical drawing 1 and 2 in high school. I was considering becoming a draftsman. In the beginning of my senior year my guidance counselor worked with me, and set up an interview with the dean of Franklin Tech. In Dec. I was accepted into Franklin Institute of Boston.

My dad started his new job in May 1964. He was living in York with a great friend to my aunt until my mother moved back to York. In June of 1964 I graduated from high school. My father drove all the way from York to attend the graduation. My father was proud of my graduating with honors in industrial arts.

The last year living in Andover, my mother worked full time doing secretarial work at a place called the Lawrence Experiment Station. She worked to help pay for my brother’s education and mine. Around 1960, she worked as a legal secretary for a lawyer in Andover. Then for several years my mother worked part time as a church secretary for Pastor Nodder. She had this job until she passed away in 1973.

In Sept. of 1964, my parents moved back to York, and I started my one year course at Franklin Institute of Boston. My living on my own in the big city of Boston was the beginning of my growing up. Before I left for Boston, I got a lecture and tips on my getting along well on my own. My father told me that he and mom telling me all this was to get me ready for a great adventure. My parents were hoping that I would not have some pretty bad experiences such as my losing much money, or lose the key to get into the place where I was living. I did well living in Boston. I was rooming with a couple where I had a room on the second floor.

The biggest adjustment was the fast pace that I had in keeping up with my studies. I adjusted to this faster pace the last half of the year. In June of 1965 I graduated with average grades. I had algebra, trig, mechanics, and did many different types of. Drawings. The drawings were much more advanced then what I did in high school. My brother graduated from Brown University when I graduated from Franklin Tech. My brother went back to the summer job he had in New England the year before. I went back with my parents to York for a job in the field of drafting.

About 5 weeks after I moved back to York, I got a job with a small firm that made cooling equipment. Just around the time I got this job, the draft caught up with me. From 1965 until 1969 was the compulsory draft due to the Vietnam war. I chose the Navy Reserves. I enlisted on Sept. 13, 1965. I started inactive duty by my attending meetings every Tuesday at a place just outside of York.

While I started my inactive duty in the navy, I also started a three month apprenticeship program which I completed successfully in the middle of October 1965. I didn’t start my active duty in the navy until the middle of Jan. 1967. My inactive duty consisted of attending meetings, going to boot camp for just two weeks, then in the spring two weeks on a ship.

On Nov. 13th. 1965 at 7 pm. I got on a train at York to go to Chicago. Then at Chicago the next morning I got on a train to go to the Great Lakes Naval Center. There were about 75 new recruits there at boot camp. We stayed in a large barracks. We got up at 4:30 a.m. and were busy until about 5:30 p.m. The evenings were free until we got in our bunks at 9:30 p.m.

Two days at boot camp we had to put on an oxygen breathing mask, then take it off while tear gas was being lit. My eyes watered and my face burned. The officer wanted the new recruits to get familiar with what tear gas is like. Later in the day I was at the barbers to have a petty officer shave my hair off with an electric razor. That just took about five minutes. Then later in the week we washed and rinsed our work pants, wrung them out, and put them in a big metal bucket. Then we carried the heavy metal bucket down the steps to hang out the pants and shirts on a wash line. We did plenty of marching, and took in classes to learn about Navy life. I remember being in a pool ten feet deep in the center of the pool changing my clothes. That was tough to do. The other thing I remember was being on the rifle range. When I didn’t aim the rifle just right to hit the target, the petty officer yelled at me saying, “You snake, you get that up there.” All the recruits got yelled at various times.

Sunday morning the train got into York, and my dad was sure glad to pick me up. Of course, my mother was sure glad to see me. The next morning at work, the workers welcomed me back by putting up a flag and taking a picture of me by the flag. I was doing well in my first drafting job, and was getting more experience. I liked my boss, and the other men at work. I was still attending meetings on Tuesday learning more about the Navy.

In the middle of April 1966, for two weeks I was on a destroyer, the U.S.S. Snowden. The ship was docked at the Phila. Naval Base. The purpose of this time was to get familiar with shipboard life. I was amazed at the close quarters. The cupboards where supplies were kept, had ropes that kept supplies from coming out when the ship would be out to sea. My job for those two weeks was to paint the boiler rooms. I learned the right way to swab a deck. I thought you swabbed a deck like you swab your kitchen floor at home. I put in three inches of water in a bucket, put the big mop in the water, and squeezed the water out of it with my hand. I did that instead of filling up the bucket with water, and using what squeezes the big mop. The petty officer yelled at me for doing it like I did.

For the remaining months of doing my inactive duty until Jan. 1967, instead of going every Tuesday for meetings, I went every third weekend of the month to a Navy building in Harrisburg. I was learning more about ships, shipboard life, and had various drills.

Meanwhile I was happy with my job. I was doing more difficult drawings such as a control panel assembly drawing, a tubing assembly that entailed several parts, and listing all the nuts, bolts, and screws. I was progressing in my field. My boss appreciated my being conscientious, and he saw the best in me. I got one raise after I finished the apprenticeship program, then another raise eight months later.

In Sept. 1966, my parents, brother, and I took our last family trip together. We drove down to New Orleans. On the way down we saw Lookout Mountain in Tenn. where you could look out at six states. I saw various sights in New Orleans. We stayed at a hotel in the French Quarters. On the way home we saw Stone Mountain in Georgia.

Then came Jan. 16, 1967, when I started active duty. The first five weeks I was at the Phila.Naval Base living in a barracks. My job was painting in some of the offices. I had a nice schedule just working forty hours a week, and I was able to get home two weekends. This schedule didn’t last. Feb. 1st. I got orders that around the middle of Feb. I was to be assigned to an aircraft carrier.

On Feb. 17, 1967 at 11:15 pm at the Laguardia Airport I boarded a commercial plane to go to Rota Spain. On the plane at three in the morning, we were served a nice breakfast. Looking out the window at one point it was completely light, and at another point it was completely dark. When I got to Rota Spain it was already 11:30 am. We stayed in a large barracks on the Naval and Air Force Base. I remember seeing many olive trees, and many flowers in bloom. We stayed in Rota Spain for a day, and overnight. I was chosen to be on a watch from 10:00 pm to 2:00 am. It was tough for me to stay awake with just getting an hours sleep on the plane and having jet lag. The next morning I got on a military plane for a two hour flight to Genoa Italy. On the military plane you sat on a bench that was right by the window. I’m glad I didn’t have a six hour flight on that plane for it was uncomfortable. When I got to Genoa, I got a taxi to take me to the U.S.S. Shangri-La. When I got to the aircraft carrier I remember waiting in a long line to get signed in, and to get instructions to my compartment. When I got to the compartment, what I saw seemed to me to be so different from the way I ever lived. The lockers where I put my clothes and personal items was only about two cubic feet. It was tough stuffing everything in it. The bunks were about two and a half feet from the top of one bunk to the bottom of the other. The aisles were only about 4 foot wide. It was really close quarters. There were about 3,000 crew members, and the ship described as a city on water. At 5:30 am, Feb. 20, 1967 the new crew members lined up at the dining area. All of us were sleepy, and I remember the supervisor, Chief Holly, saying to us firmly, ‘Wake up you sleepy heads.” We were assigned for the next six weeks to being mess cooks. Between 5:30 am and 6:00 the crew members had breakfast, then after breakfast they started their duties.

When the ship was in port, the hours mess cooks worked was from 6:00 am to 6:00 pm, and a lunch break at 11:30. Then the next day they worked from 6:00 am to 2:00 pm. In the afternoon until late in the evening they would go into the city. When the ship was out to sea, mess cooks worked from 8:30 am to 8:30 pm every day. At sea we got a lunch break, and a dinner break. Any other time we were not allowed to sit down. That was rough. The reason we were not allowed to sit down except for lunch and dinner was to toughen us up. The tasks that mess cooks did were to set the tables, fill up the sugar containers, and fill the salt and pepper shakers. The crew served themselves the food for it was like cafeteria style. Mess cooks needed to serve the crew coffee at breakfast. For the other meals, mess cooks made sure the water, or punch pitchers were filled up enough. Between meals mess cooks swept and mopped the floors, sometimes they waxed the floors, and sometimes cleaned the walls.

With being on a large ship with high waves there was not near as much motion as with a destroyer However one time while I was a mess cook there were exceptionally high waves. That day it was lunch time, the sailors had to sit close enough to catch the trays from falling on the floor. At one time even the tables started to move. On an aircraft carrier there aren’t ledges at the end of the table, nor are the tables fastened to the floor as they are on a destroyer.

After finishing my mess cook duties, I was assigned to a tough division. I had to stand watch on an average of three nights a week. We stood on the watch for men overboard. Along with standing those watches I was busy eight to ten hours a day when we out to sea. In port I worked eight hours one day, then six hours the other day. The duties I had in this division consisted of me swabbing the deck, and cleaning bathrooms. When I was off the ship I just went into the city, and sat with the sailors. The places the ship was anchored was Genoa and Naples Italy, and a part of Sicily.

On May 20, 1967, the ship docked in Mayport Florida. I really liked that Naval Base. It had a nice library, a large snack room, having pinball machines. Another place had a pool table. I didn’t have watches to stand in Mayport, but I had two tough duties. Once I had the job of cleaning out the bilges. That was such a hot, messy job that was so stuffy. The other job was my standing on a net balancing myself as I spray painted a small side of the ship. The other duties were chipping paint on the deck to prepare the surfaces for painting. The first day the ship docked in Mayport was my day off. Mayport was only about 15 miles from Jacksonville Fla. I took the bus in Jacksonville, and called my parents where they had stayed on their honeymoon. I was so glad to hear their voice.

In August of 1967, the ship was in Guantanamo Bay Cuba for drills. On the way down to Gitmo, I had the thrill of steering the ship under the supervision of an officer. I was allowed to steer the ship only in calm seas. In Gitmo, one thing that was frightening to me was my being the powder passer in helping to load the big guns on the ship. One sailor would put the big missile in the big gun, and I put the big long cylinder loaded with powder into the gun to have the gun go off. Being in this division that was my drill practicing loading the gun. What was scary to me was my concern of my dropping the long cylinder that could blow up and kill me and others. Thank God I got through the drill successfully. In November, I took a course to become a petty officer 3rd. class. I took the test passed it, but never had a chance to reinforce that position.

In late November 1967, I got into a division I liked much better. I become a ship serviceman. I worked for a while in the laundry pressing office’s uniforms. Then I worked six weeks in the gift shop. Then around Feb. 15th. I worked in the snack shop, and that is where I worked the rest of my time on board ship. I gave out snacks. What kept me the busiest was making and serving the ice cream. I would get those big metal oontainers, pour two gallons of water in it, then a large can of powdered mix and stir the mix very well. I poured the mix into the ice cream machine. I served the ice cream There were usually 30 sailors waiting in line for their ice cream. There was vanilla, vanilla with banana, or strawberry topping, or chocolate ice cream. Later in my time in the snack shop I served popcorn that the cashier popped. I liked the work I did, and my division officer gave me a good report.

On this cruise I did plenty of sightseeing. On Christmas of 1967 I took a three day trip of Rome that only cost me twenty eight dollars. I saw the main sights of Rome. On Christmas morning I took in the Pope’s mass. In April I toured Athens, Florence Italy, parts of Spain,

My brother started in the army reserves Oct. 26, 1967. Most of the time in the army he spent over in Germany in army intelligence. My brother’s wife was able to be with him, and their first son was born in Germany July 7, 1969.. While I was in the navy my brother got married. I was able to take leave at that time. I was best man at the wedding.

As I was sightseeing, I palled around with another sailor who wanted to do what I wanted to do. The only problem was I had to finance him on all the tours. He said he had to keep sending money home to help his parents. He kept promising me that he would pay me back after he got out of the navy. One day after he was home, I got this letter stating that he was killed in an automobile accident. I showed the letter to one of the other sailors, and this sailor suspected that this letter was false. I figured the letter was written saying he was killed so that I could never keep writing him about getting the money. One way I could find out if this person was alright is for me to call him. I called him and he answered the phone. When I talked to him, I wish I could have seen the look on his face. I wish I had said to him,”I am calling to tell you that I am awfully sorry to hear about your death.” I never got the money, but I caught him in the act of being dishonest. My parents told this story to many people.

In the middle of September 1968, I went two weeks to fire fighting school. I fought an oil fire that was frightening. Another thing that was frightening to me was fighting a fire the petty officer started. He put paper inside an empty cement building and set it on fire. The sailors going through fire fighting school put out the fires. At first the petty officer and I were not sure I would be able to pass the course. I persevered and passed, and was able to fight those fires.

My being in the Navy worked out for the good. It made me appreciate my parents more. I recognized more how giving and caring my mother was, and the good provider my father had been. When I told my dad the plane was to get into the Baltimore Airport in the evening of Dec. 21, 1968, my father said we will be there with bells on. My mother said that was a big Christmas present.

I was scheduled to finish my active duty in the middle of January 1969, but I finished almost a month earlier in order for me to be home in time for Christmas. In January I went back to the firm I had been working for before I went on active duty. I had this job for a year as a drafts person until I was laid off due to the company having financial problems. After my being out of work for three months, I got a challenging job as a mechanical draftsman. The first week on the job, the boss said he was pleased with my work. Then as each week went by the job got increasingly difficult to the point that after being with the company for a month I was dismissed from the job due to my not being able to handle the work. I felt so ashamed of myself, and I worried about what my parents would think. When I got home that night, I just did not have the nerve to tell them what happened. I could not sleep that night for fear of my parents losing respect for me. Finally in the morning I told my parents. They received the new better than I expected. They understood what had happened. As I was looking for work, my dad said that I was underselling myself. Now I oversold myself at the interview for the job, whereby, my boss expected more from me then I could handle.

Shortly after I lost that job, I got another one working with a company that makes heating equipment. I was hired as a drafts person. I worked with this company for almost a year, and then I was laid off from work. The company was experiencing financial difficulties due to the recession of 1971. I was the last one hired, and the first person in the drafting department to be laid off. When I was laid off, I asked my boss what he thought about my work. My boss said that he was pleased with my conscientiousness, but that I did not have much potential in the field of mechanical drafting. I was crushed emotionally when he said that. At that point, I did not know if I should stay in the field of drafting. My parents were encouraging to me, and they felt that my boss was being too negative with me. My parents felt that he did not see my potential. I believe my parents did not see all that is involved in drafting, that doing drafting is much more then drawing neat drawings. I did need plenty of direction and supervision for I was not mechanically inclined. I had difficulty visualizing objects before they are in their completed form. For instance, I had problems figuring out the proper line work when drawing the third view from the line work I saw in the two views. During this time in my life I was confused as to what I was supposed to do for a career. Then I thought if I could do architectural drafting, I would not have the problem with visualization that I had as a mechanical draftsman.

For the first few months after I was laid off I applied at a number of places and nothing materialized. In August of 1971, I started a thousand hour course at York Technical Institute to study architectural drafting. After I finished at York Tech., the school helped to place me for a job. I got a job as the only drafts person for a small firm that made institutional furniture. I was happy for that job since it was mainly architectural drafting and not mechanical. The job was really a challenge to me being the only drafts person. After the first month I was concerned that I was not measuring up to my supervisor’s expectations of me. After my ninety days when the company let me have health insurance, I was glad to know that the company was going to keep me.

I was adjusting more and more to the new job, and things were going fine for me for a while. Then came March 12, 1973, and the day started to be as any other day. I came home from work, had supper, and then I had things to study pertaining to my work. As I was studying all of a sudden my dad yelled, “I need you, come to the kitchen.” When I got to the kitchen, I saw my mother lying on the floor. At first I thought she has just fainted. I couldn’t imagine that this woman who had hardly ever been sick a day in her life as long as I knew her could have had anything seriously wrong with her. As my dad and I kept calling to her, she did not respond. Next we noticed that her dress was wet. We knew something dramatic must have happened to her. I called the ambulance. For two hours my dad and I were very worried about my mother while she was at the emergency ward at the York hospital. Finally the doctor came out and I still remember his exact words, “She is a pretty sick woman, and she may not recover.”.. The next day my mother was put in intensive care. The doctor told me that there was very little chances of my mother recovering for she had a massive brain hemorrhage. Finally around 9:30 pm on March 14,1973 my mother passed away. I could not describe to you in words the shock that was to me. All I could do was to face the fact that life had to go on.

For several months after my mother passed, my dad and I were alone. I just could not have the same love towards my dad that I had towards my mother. It seemed to me that my dad was more demanding then my mother. Shortly after my mother passed away, my dad got engaged with whom he had worked and become good friends. In November of 1973 my dad remarried. In December of 1973, I was laid off from the small firm that made institutional furniture due to the company going out of business. Just before the new year my father had a stroke, and was in the hospital for three weeks. It took about a month after my dad was home from the hospital until he could walk again independently. I was glad I was around to help my father to be able to walk again. Yet shortly after the stroke, my father started having breathing problems, and soon discovered that he had congestive heart failure. At this time in my father’s life he could still live a pretty normal life.

In January of 1974, I got a job as a drafts person at the American Chain and Cable Company. That was a good company to work with, for it was a large producer of chain. I really felt very comfortable, and secure with this firm. My boss was pleased with my work, and after I worked with this company for a year I got a nice raise. The year of 1974 was a great year. I had a great job, and I even had a chance to spend a week in Hawaii. My dad belonged to the Knights of Columbus, and he had a real good packaged deal that made it much cheaper for me to go to Hawaii then the normal price.

The year 1975 was different. In April of that year I was laid off from that drafting job that I thought I might have for the rest of my life. My being laid off from this job really left me depressed. The company had to do it solely due to the big recession of 1975. I looked everywhere for work and each place I applied it was the same old story of not having any openings, or the companies want draftsmen with more experience. It was a very frustrating time for me.

In 1975 and throughout most of1976, I was living at home with my father and my stepmother. It was not an ideal situation with me living with my stepmother and my father, for they needed to be living alone. My dad certainly did not want me to be out on my own without me having a steady job, yet I sensed my stepmother was getting tired of me living at home. I left home jobless. I can understand how my stepmother felt, and we became good friends. My moving away from York turned out to be a blessing in disguise. In the spring of 1976, I thought in terms of working with handicapped people. Late in the spring of that year, I took a civil service exam. I did quite well on the exam, and the state had my name on file.

In September of 1976, I moved to Hamburg Pennsylvania for I got a job working at the State School and Hospital working with the mentally retarded. At first I found my working as a nurse’s aide with the profoundly retarded to be quite interesting. As the months went by, I ran into problems. I had trouble handling various types of patients especially the hyperactive. The workload was very heavy. After my being on this job for several months, it became evident that this job was not for me. I left this job and got back into drafting. I worked for a company in Topton Pa. that made seating for buses.

When I left the job at the State School and Hospital, I was going through a time of loneliness and depression. I was unhappy in life, and was wondering if I would ever find my place in life. Just after I was hitting just about the bottom for me emotionally, I began to experience a breakthrough emotionally. One day in the spring of 1977 I walked into the Christian bookstore in Hamburg, and I was talking to the manager. This lady was telling me about prayer and Bible study at the home of the pastor and his wife. I started attending those prayer meetings, and was making wonderful friends. Those were the kind of friends who loved me unconditionally. As I was experiencing real love from these friends along with me beginning to learn God’s Word, I began to believe that God loves me. In the spring of 1977, I accepted the Lord. I put my trust,in what Jesus did for me to pay the price for my sins for I could see that I was a sinner. Before I got saved I looked at myself as a good person. Most people thought of me as that. I saw myself as being good to my parents, my being a conscientious worker, I went to church every Sunday, and I did not have a criminal record. However, I did not realize how I failed in keeping God’s commandments. I did not truly love God for I was guilty of idolatry where a number of other things were more important to me then God. I was covetous of certain things others had that I wish I had. To God I was an idolater, and one who coveted. I was guilty before God, and my destination was hell. (1 Corinthians 6: 9&10) ( Revelation 21:8) One day I read in Romans 3:23 that, “All have sinned; all fall short of God’s glorious ideal.” When I read that I knew I had to be part of that all. When I accepted that truth then I could embrace the good news of what the next verse says, “Now God declares us not guilty of offending Him if we trust in Jesus Christ, who in His kindness freely takes away our sins.”

The first year after I accepted the Lord and committed my life to Him, life was great. I was grateful for my salvation. I was beginning to experience peace and joy in my life. I was interested in developing my relationship with the Lord. I began to see that Jesu is real, and could see how God was actively involved in my life, and how His protection was upon me. .I began to believe that God had a great plan and purpose for my life. During this time in my life, I was praying to discover what I should do with my life.

Even though I was so close to those in the church I got acquainted with, I sense that I was meant to be in the catholic brotherhood. I had been raised a catholic. I thought that getting into a religious order would give me the most freedom to be able to dedicate myself to a lifestyle of prayer, and to serve the Lord. In a religious order one of the things a person does after he is in the order for a couple years is for the individual to take the vow of poverty. This means one does not have ownership to anything, and everything that you have use of you share in common with those in the community. For instance, I did not have ownership of a car, yet I did not have the concerns of the expenses and having to set up appointments to have repair work done on a car. This sounded good to me not to have ownership to anything for I thought that I would have less earthly cares, and I could be more devoted to prayer and serving the Lord. I visited a few religious catholic orders, and I decided on the Marian Congregation.

In August of 1978, I entered into the Marian congregation. Life in the religious order was doing things in common with others. The men would have religious devotions together, eat together, work together, and have recreation together. We had our own private rooms. The first year of religious life seemed great to me. I seemed to be mixing well with the other men. I could go home to visit my family in York, and my friends in Hamburg a few times a year. My daily schedule was not too highly structured. During the first year of religious life I started to do writing. One of my favorite topics that I wrote about was pertaining to how to give evidence that God exists. I wanted to reveal to people how I knew beyond a doubt that God is real in my life. In my writings I wrote about the orderliness of the universe, and how this order had to come about by a supreme intelligence and not just by chance. Then I wrote how my knowing God is not like knowing George Washington or Abraham Lincoln where we can only know facts about these people. One can know God personally through God working through our lives. A number of people found my writings to be quite interesting.

The second year in the catholic brotherhood was much tougher then the first year. The second year was actually the year of formation into my becoming a religious brother. I almost had to miss that year, for I had to take a leave of absence to help to take care of my father who was dying from congestive heart failure. In August, I left the congregation, and I was only away for a month until my father passed away. My superior of the Marian congregation, Father Richard Drabik, conducted the funeral in York Pennsylvania.

In September of 1979, I continued on in formation to religious life. There were many more restrictions put on me then during the first year. I wasn’t allowed to visit my friends or relatives except for two days at Christmas time. People could visit me at the congregation, but I had to get permission from my superior for people to see me. The reason I could not leave the congregation was due to the superior’s thinking that detachment from the family, friends, and other pleasurable things would help to free me from being distracted from my devotion to religious life. The daily schedule was highly structured. The typical schedule consisted of chapel services at 7:00 am, then breakfast, private prayer time, work detail, fifteen minutes of prayer in the chapel before lunch, prayer in the chapel after lunch, another work detail, then a meeting, an hour of free time. Then half hour of prayer and devotions before dinner, fifteen minutes of devotions after dinner, then an evening of recreation and socializing. During the year of formation, I learned about the vow of obedience, chastity, and poverty that I took for one year after I finished the year of formation. The vow of obedience meant that I had to submit to what my superiors told me to do, and that I was to look to what my superiors were telling me to do as though it were God Himself giving me the orders. If what the superiors were telling me went against the dictates of my conscience, I was not obligated to obey. The vow of chastity meant that I was not to marry. While I was taking the vow of poverty, I could not touch any of my investments.

During the second year of religious life, I was instructed often on the importance of sacrificing certain things for the sake of God. For instance, all of us were admonished not to have snacks such as candy, or other junk food in our rooms, and that the snack for the evening could be just fruit. We got well-balanced meals, and even desert, except during lent we were not allowed deserts. The purpose of this was to starve the cravings for things that give me pleasure.

As I was going through formation, I began to have doubts about whether being a Christian was as great as I thought. I wondered whether this could be God’s love that in order to be close to God, I had to have all these restrictions put on me Towards the end of formation, I attended a few evenings at a parish renewal located about ten miles from the community house I was at. The speaker was a Franciscan named Brennan Manning, and he shared about God’s unconditional love. I bought each of the tapes of his messages, and I was encouraged by what he shared. I was beginning to get some idea about God’s love, even though I had much more to learn about the love of God. As I was uplifted by those messages, I looked to God’s strength plus the encouragement I got from certain brothers and priests in the religious order to help me get through formation. In August of 1980, I professed temporary vows as a religious brother.

The jobs I did around the community house consisted of me doing plenty of raking in the autumn of 1979, and 1980. At the community house in Brookeville MD I had plenty of cleaning of glass to do along a long hallway. From autumn of 1979 until the end of May 1980, I had many classes to attend to learn about religious life. I was at the community house in Brookeville until June 1980. From June 1st. until about July 15th. I was at the community house in Washington DC. I was in Washington to do an assignment as others had finishing the time of formation I helped to paint the front of an organization that helped to feed poor people. This was called S.O.M.E. (So Others May Eat). I helped to serve food to the people. While I was in Washington, and every other Sunday in the autumn of 1980, I was involved part time in a prison ministry with others from Lorton Va. I had a chance to talk one on one to some of the inmates.

In the beginning of 1981, I was transferred to the community house located in western Massachusetts. That was quite a transition for me. I missed the brothers and priests I was especially close to in Brookeville. I missed the warmer climate. I accepted my being transferred as God’s will for me, and I drew strength from the Lord to adjust. As being newly professed I worked in the mail opening room taking orders from people to send them devotionals or other prayer books, and collecting contributions.

Another thing I did during the winter and spring of 1979, then autumn of 1980 was my taking courses at Montgomery College at Silver Spring Maryland. I thought these courses would help me to converse with many people. I took courses in psychology, philosophy, sociology, and English composition. I got “B’s” in psychology, philosophy, and English. I got an A in sociology. In English composition I had a great teacher being Howard Wickert. He taught me how to be a better writer in that he drilled in us that we need to use concreteness in our writing. He meant our being able to take what is abstract and write in a way one can understand what you mean by illustrations and examples.

Finally I was temporary professed for almost a year, and the board members got together to decide if I was to continue on in religious life. Most of the board members decided that I should not continue on in the catholic brotherhood. They could not give me any real reason that I was not meant to be a religious brother. At first the news was a shock to me then I had a deep peace about leaving. I accepted my having to leave as the will of God for my life, and I believed that God had better plans for my life then for me to remain in the catholic brotherhood. I prayed about where the Lord wanted me, and I sensed in my spirit that I belong with the church I got acquainted with before I went into the religious order.

I moved back to Hamburg in late August of 1981. Pastor Bill and Becky Freed along with many others in the church welcomed m back. In 1980 the fellowship started a Christian school, and I worked as a teacher’s aide in the Christian school. Also I helped out wherever needed in the ministry of helps. The church fellowship was fairly small, and there was a tremendous amount of work that needed to be done to keep the church functioning properly along with the Christian school. Many of the members were having a tough time keeping up with all that needed to be done. I would look at these people working within the church as extraordinary people having the dedication to give of themselves as they did in order to keep the ministry going. At first I did not have that willingness to be dedicated to serving in the fellowship as many of the other Christians had been. During the first six months back in the fellowship I had problems with guilt. I felt that if I was not busy all the time helping others, that I was being selfish, and that I would not have much favor with God. I thought I would not have much of God’s blessings. I was guilty over my thinking that I was not the self - sacrificing Christian that I should be. The other Christians wanted me to feel free not to do certain things if I did not want to do them. I had a tough time working as a teacher’s aide and .I struggled with knowing how to discipline the students properly. One time I would be too lenient, another time I was too strict. Towards the end of the school year, I decided not to work as a teacher’s aide next year. Instead I became the custodian of the church along with working of helps and having my own visitation ministry where I visited people confined to their home plus people being lonely and depressed

In the second year of my being involved in the ministry, I had greater peace of mind and much more inner strength to serve the Lord. The visitation ministry was on a part time basis. One time I was visiting as many as ten people. One of the teachers who worked at the Hamburg Christian School had a husband who was in a nursing home due to having a crippling disease. When I worked as a teacher’s aide, I got well acquainted with this teacher. Once this lady requested the desire for her husband to be out of the nursing home, and living at her home. She did not know how this would work with him being at home, for this man was very heavy to handle. One day I since that God wanted me to be the one to take care of the teacher’s husband. The teacher was fully in favor of me taking care of this man.

In May of 1983, I had my first opportunity to work as a home health aide with this elderly man. The Lord gave me plenty of strength to be able to lift him, he was dead weight. This man got plenty of tender loving care from both his wife and I, and he had been doing better living at home. In September of 1983, he passed away from a massive brain hemorrhage. The teacher (Florence Greenawalt) was so grateful for the care I gave her husband that Florence decided to open her home to me as long as I wanted to stay at her place. Florence and I were great friends to each other. After Florence’s husband (Nevin) passed away, I got back to the visitation ministry, and worked as custodian at the church. For over a year I did not have any jobs as a home health aide. Then I took care of a man on a part time basis who was blind and bedfast. I worked with this man for three years.

Early in 1986, Florence Greenawalt became ill, and had to be hospitalized for a few months. After she came out of the hospital, she was able to live alone. While she was in the hospital, I had to find a place where I could room. There was a lady who had moved from Middletown Pennsylvania to Hamburg in December of 1985. While Florence was in the hospital, I was getting acquainted with this person. We shared our thoughts, feelings, and what we valued, and we could see that we had plenty in common.

The Holy Spirit was creating in me a desire for marriage. As each week went by, that desire was increasing. Finally on January 19, 1987, I proposed to this fine lady. My relatives, especially my brother, thought I would never get married. I had the title of being a confirmed bachelor. When I called my brother and told him I was planning to get married he said, ‘What!’’ I wish I could have seen the look on his face when I told him the news. I knew he was happy for me that I was getting married.

Both me and my fiancee had such an inner conviction from the Holy Spirit that we were to be married. We felt so sure that we were meant for each other that we did not see any reason to have a long engagement. We were engaged for only four months, even though the circumstances seemed unfavorable for me to get married that soon. I had only part time work, and I did not know what full time work I would be doing. It was a step in faith for me to get married. Right after I decided to get married, an opportunity opened for me to do contract cleaning full time, and I took the job. During the four month’s engagement, I lived at Florence Greenawalt’s home.

On May 30, 1987, I married Shirley. For our honeymoon we spent a nice four days at a resort in the Pocono”s in Pennsylvania. I never realized what a blessing it could be to have a fine wife. God knew that marriage is the best thing for me. Along with the blessing of having that intimate union with my spouse came some big adjustments though. I had to learn to give up my independent ways. For instance, I had to know that the money I made was not my money anymore, but it was our money.

After my being married about six months, I sensed that Shirley’s job as stockroom manager at K-Mart was becoming more and more stressful. I gave her the option that she could quit if she wanted to. She prayed to find out what God wanted her to do. She felt led to quit her job, and to be in ministry full time within the church we belonged to for years. In December of 1987, my wife finished at K-Mart. It was quite an adjustment for us to manage financially on my income alone.

In the spring of 1988, my wife and I started a sideline business helping elderly people with things such as yard work, snow shoveling, and cleaning. We named our business, “Beck’s Helping Hands.” Throughout the next three years, I had the contract cleaning job plus my sideline business. In my sideline business, I was doing yard work, snow shoveling, and some temporary part time private duty personal care jobs for the elderly. My wife was out on some cleaning jobs plus she was taking care of the administrative aspect of our business. For the first year and a half of our business, it was pretty slow. In the spring of 1989, my wife and I decided to advertise telling people that we would be willing to do yard work at a reasonable rate. That spring we got many responses, more than we had expected. It was a wet spring that meant that I was swamped with grass cutting and weeding. Along with all the yard work I had, I was working about forty hours a week on my contract-cleaning job. When I started getting real busy with the yard work, I was cut to thirty hours a week.

In August of 1989, Shirley and I took a nice week vacation to all of New England states except Vermont. The first year we were married, we toured Vermont. In Vermont we tried to find as many covered bridges as we could find. Then on this big trip to New England we tried to find as many lighthouses as we could find. What really topped off that trip was to go up Mt. Washington by the Cog Railway to the top. It was a crystal clear day, and on top of Mt. Washington, my wife and I could see as far as sixty miles. Then on the way back from our touring in upper New Hampshire, my wife and I took in my twenty fifth high school class reunion. This was the first class reunion I had been to since I was out of high school. I am glad that my old classmates wore nametags, for I would not have known most of the people. Around the time we got back from our trip, Shirley started working full time as a secretary at our church.

In the beginning of 1990, our business was slow. The extra income from Shirley’s full time job came in handy. In the summer of 1990 we started going car hunting. We desperately needed two new used cars. The cars we wanted were out of our price range. One car we got a good deal on that lasted us for several years. There was not enough money for us to buy another decent car. One evening my wife got a phone call from someone who use to be in our church fellowship. This person offered us a 1984 Ford Escort that had one hundred and two thousand miles on it for free. We took the car and were certainly grateful for God’s supernatural provision. That was a good car for it lasted four years, and about fifty thousand miles were put on the car. For a long time we had two dependable cars to drive.

In the latter part of 1990, business was still slow. In December of 1990, I got a shock and that was I had been laid off from my contract-cleaning job. I did a good job doing contract-cleaning, but one place where I was putting in the most hours, the contract cleaning agency lost the job due to the plant having financial problems. The president wanted to hire their own people to clean the plant. It was a trial period to, all of a sudden, to be without full time work.

For half a week I hardly had any work. It was a tough three days wondering where and when the next few hundred dollars was going to come from to pay all the bills. Then all of a sudden I got a phone call from an agency that I had not been in contact with for nearly a year. I was asked if I could work as a home health aide about fifteen hours a week to take care of a man who had fallen and broken his ankle. It seemed like a miracle that this agency had thought of me. I certainly took the job. Each week the man’s ankle was healing nicely. At this time I was undecided as to what I should pursue for work. I did not know if I should wait and hope that I would get full time work as a home health aide after I was not needed by this man. Then I thought that perhaps I should be open to working in a nursing home, for my working in a nursing home would be good experience for me .I figured having that experience would eventually help me to get full time work as a home health aide. In February 1991, I applied for a job as a nursing assistant in a nursing home near Allentown Pennsylvania. Even though I did not have previous experience in a nursing home, I got the job anyway. The job began with me going through two weeks orientation. I made it through orientation, and then started working as a nursing assistant. Later I became certified by the state as a nursing assistant. This job was really tough for me. There were many patients I had to lift, and I had from ten to fourteen residents I had to get ready for bed in a time span of three hours. Most of the residents needed total care. There was nights that I could not finish all of my assignments. After my working in a nursing home for six months, I was hitting a spiritual low, and I felt emotionally and physically drained. I wanted to be able to work full time as a home health aide.

One day I applied for work with an agency called, “Special Care.” I talked to the man who runs the agency in the Berks county area, and he was impressed with the experience I had working with the elderly for several years on a part time basis. This man immediately set up an appointment for me to work full time as a home health aide for a man in Fleetwood Pennsylvania. I had an interview with the man’s wife, and I was hired for the job right away. I was so thankful to God for making a way that I could work full time as a home health aide. What freedom it was for me to work one on one with the elderly after all the pressure I was under to try to take care of so many patients in such a short period of time. Now I could spend all the time I needed to take care of this man.

The home health aide job in Fleetwood consisted of me working with a man who had a crippling disease that left him emotionally unstable. He demanded plenty of care, and he was not an easy man to take care of, yet I got help from this man’s wife, and there was a housekeeper to help to lift the workload. I was grateful for the help I got. I worked with this man for a little over a year, and then he died suddenly from pneumonia. I had a deep peace about his passing away for he was getting so bad with his crippling disease, and he was not enjoying life. I was trusting God that I would soon have full time work once again.

A week after that man passed away, I got full time work as a home health aide working with a man that had Alzheimer’s. As much as I was happy with the other job, I was happier with this one. I got such good results working with this man, and this man was very receptive to the love and affection I had given him. This man’s wife was a great encouragement to me, and I really enjoyed working with this man in-spite of his condition. God had been working in this man. Almost two and a half years after I started working with this man, he could feed himself completely. When I first started with this individual, he could only feed himself once in a while. He was more aware of things then when I first started working with him. My wife and I went to a Christmas party that was initiated by, “Special Care.” At the party I was awarded with a beautiful plaque that had carved in it, “Care-giver of the year award for outstanding service and dedication to the patients.” Never in my life had I ever received anything such as that.

This man who had Alzheimer’s was continuing to do pretty well considering his condition. Then one day he had several seizures that made him gravely ill. Five days after these seizures he passed away. I really missed this man. For the next two months after I left this job, my faith was really tested again. In a period of two months, I did not have quite full time work. Twice the patients I worked with had passed away, and twice I was in a position where I did not know where the next few hundred dollars was going to come from to pay all of the rent and other bills. Then finally I got a job in June of 1995 that lasted almost two years. It was an overnight job that was full time for I committed myself to working seven nights a week. I was able to get a good night’s sleep, and I just had to get up a few nights with this man. Along with the overnight job, I had morning work Monday through Friday working with an Alzheimer patient just a few miles from Hamburg. After working with this man on the overnight job for a year, the man passed away very suddenly. This man’s wife was not in too good of shape, for her walking was quite unstable. She was able to wash herself, and to undress herself. She just needed assistance in walking. Since this lady could take care of her personal needs and was comfortable with me, she decided she wanted me to stay to be with her overnight. I seldom had to get up with her overnight. After I had worked with this lady for a week, I started working evenings along with mornings I had been working with the man living near Hamburg.

At first I did not mind this schedule working morning, evening, and overnight. Then after about six months, I was getting tired of this schedule. It was not so much that I was physically tired. I felt I was missing out on plenty that God had for me with my working almost all the time. For one thing, I was hardly ever home with my wife. My wife and I were like ships passing through the night.

Early in 1997, I quit the overnight job, and my working every evening during the week. I got a full time day job, and I committed myself to three evenings a week on the other job near Hamburg. It was very unlikely for me to get full time day work as a home health aide. I was very grateful to the Lord for making a way that I could have a better work schedule then I had before. I loved the day job, the hours were good, the man was good to work with, and the wife was appreciative of the help I gave her husband.

During this time I had a better schedule. I was spending quality time reading and meditating on God’s Word, and reading a couple of books my wife had gotten me as gifts. These books were giving me more revelation knowledge of God’s love. In 1977 I had accepted the Lord, but along the way I have experienced God working in my life, and reading and by meditating on God’s Word, I have come to know God’s love better then when I first accepted the Lord. As I continued to seek God through prayer, Bible study, and meditation, I started writing personal reflections on the love of God. As I wrote these reflections, I started incorporating these reflections in various booklets. The purpose of these writings is to encourage others on how to find real happiness in life by experiencing God’s perfect love that is kindness extended to us in meeting all our needs, emotional, psychological, and spiritual, without our having to earn this kindness in any way. Knowing this love, we can respond to this love in much gratitude.

In the late 1980”s and early 1990”s I went around Reading, Allentown, and Gettysburg portraying Abraham Lincoln. I dressed up in a black suit, wore a white shirt, bowtie, mustache, and top hat. The purpose of this was to present the Gospel message. “Just as Abraham Lincoln set the slaves free, we can be set free from a life of sin, fear, and depression through faith in the death of Jesus paid our sin debt in full, faith in the Resurrection of Christ that enables us to have a new spirit, and a new life.” Many people would come up to me, and I would introduce myself, and I would start sharing.”

In June of 1998, I got a highly responsible position working as a residential aide at the Lutheran Home in Topton Pennsylvania. I did certain things a nurse does such as giving medicine to all the residences on the unit. I had the responsibility of sometimes taking doctor’s orders, and charting them in the book that tells how medicine is to be given to the residences. I tested the blood sugar amounts for diabetics, and I gave insulin shots. I worked evening shift with the residences that have early stages of Alzheimer’s and Dementia. Working evening shift I did not always have a nurse working with me. Therefore if a resident got seriously ill, I had the responsibility to make sure the resident got to the hospital, and all the information needed for the proper care of the resident needed to be noted while the patient was in the hospital.

It was quite a step in faith to go from working as a home health aide to working as a residential aide. It was through the intervention of God, having favor with my boss (not being proficient in the beginning of this job) God’s strength that I was able to keep the job.

From Sept. 2001 to Nov. 2001, I needed to fill in more so in two months I worked a total of eight double shifts. I really needed to rely on God’s strength. What helped me even more to get through this time was my wife doing most of the housework, shopping, and cooking plus ironing. She wasn’t working at that time. The double shifts were usually 3-11 and 11-7. My regular shift was 3-11.

In Dec. of 2001 Shirley (my wife) got a secretarial job at the Lutheran Home. Then after a couple of years she was transferred to Reading doing secretarial work for meals on wheels run by Diakon. Meanwhile I was still working as a residential aide, but not doing double shifts. I was doing well now, but it wasn’t easy. There were just two aides for 18 residents. The aide who gave out medicine had six residents to help get ready for bed. The other aide had the rest of the residents to help to get ready for bed plus doing an activity.

During this time I was seeking the Lord more. As I was doing that, the Holy Spirit revealed to me how it is God’s will for me to enjoy serving the Lord even if serving God gets to be difficult. God wants us to enjoy every aspect of our serving the Lord. Serving others entails a large portion of the Christian life. We serve the Lord by serving our families, serving in the church, and serving the Lord on our job. If it wouldn’t be God’s intent for us to enjoy every aspect of serving the Lord that would be like us paying God back something for what Jesus did for us. God’s love is that salvation is a free gift received by faith, and salvation is non-repayable.

After my being a Christian for five years back in 1982, the Holy Spirit was beginning to reveal to me how God wants me to enjoy our serving the Lord. Back then I believed that my being able to enjoy serving the Lord depended on my serving God to be easy. Now as a residential aide at the Lutheran Home was hard, and I learned that to enjoy my job I needed to do my work through my experiencing God’s presence. In God’s presence is joy. (Psalms 16:11), and God is our peace (Ephesians, chapter 2). The joy of the Lord is our strength. (Nehemiah 8:10) God does not want to use us in an unloving way.

My being able to experience God’s presence really helped me to get through something really difficult without my complaining. One blessing with the job I had was that I had good health insurance. The Saturday before the new year of 2003 I had symptoms that was similar to a nasty virus. Many people had the virus at that time, and I thought all I had was the virus. Around 12:30 am Sunday I woke up having excruciating pain. I managed to walk upstairs from my bedroom. I was in such pain that in the dining room I laid on the floor curled up trying to get some relief. My wife stayed calm. She called the doctor. The doctor instructed Shirley to take me to the Reading E.R. Shirley had to help me to get dressed, and I hung onto her as I walked out to the car. At the Reading E.R. Shirley had to push me in a wheel chair. I had a cat-scan. The cat-scan showed that I had a ruptured appendix. Early Sunday morning I had my appendix removed. A friend of ours from our church sat with Shirley while I had the operation. With me thinking I just had a virus where I got to the hospital a day late then I should have is (I believe) how my appendix ruptured.. After I got back to my room, vitals were done about every 45 minutes for most of the day. Fortunately they were stable. The next day I had the poison suctioned out of me that I got from the appendix rupturing. I had to be on that for four days, and I couldn’t have anything by mouth which made it very uncomfortable for me. To help to get my mind off of my being very sick, I watched some old comedy shows plus most important TV ministers such as Charles Stanley, Joyce Meyer, and Joel Osteen. I was so receptive to what was being shared that I started to stay focused on God, and to believe that God would heal me. The key verse I stood on was Isaiah 26: 4, “My God shall keep thee in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee because he trusts in God.” That was God’s love to sustain me. I learned that God reveals great truths when I am weak.

After four days of having that poison suctioned out of me, the doctor recommended I try eating solid food. I started eating breakfast. The problem was that I ate too big a breakfast. My stomach couldn’t take it. I starting running a fever of 103. Had another cat-scan taken, and the test showed that I had a blockage in my intestine. There was a threat I might have to have another operation to remove the blockage. Fear rally started coming upon me. The doctor came up with the idea of using advanced IV hoping it could clear up the blockage. My church, the church my brother was pastoring really prayed for me. With me being on advanced IV might have meant that I might have to be on that for two months. If that would have happened I probably would have lost my job. The next day I got my focus back on the Lord. Thank God as it turned out in four days my stomach could take solid food. I was discharged from the hospital January 15, 2003.

The first week home I was quite weak and at times in much pain. It was tough for me to be able to shower. Finally in the middle of Feb. 2003 I went back to work. I even had enough sick time accumulated that I didn’t even lose vacation time. I got paid the whole time I was off work, and my insurance covered all of my hospital bills. It was an intervention of God that everything turned out as it did, and most important I got healed. The first week back to work I was exhausted at the end of each night. Within a month, I got all of my strength back.

My job as a residential aide through 2003 went well. It was decided to have three aides working in the unit I worked in, instead of just two. There were 26 residents on the unit. Two aides had 11 residents each to assist. The aide who had medicine to give out had four residents to assist.

With our income being the most it’s ever been, and my wife working full time for an adoption agency, we were able to take one week to ten days vacations, plus two long weekend trips. The two long weekend trips were to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. We enjoyed traveling along the coastline and seeing the lighthouses. Shirley and I got to be good friends to a couple who were good friends to my aunt (my dad’s sister). When they were living in York we visited them once a year. Then around the year 2000 they moved to northern South Carolina. In May 2001, October 2002, and October 2004 Shirley and I visited them for about five days. They treated us as though we were a member of their family. In May of 2001, before we went to visit my aunt’s friends, Shirley and I met up with one of her brother’s and his wife in Tenn. The four of us went to visit Dollywood, a spectacular place of amusement, various shows, beautiful scenes, and great rides. We were there a few days. Then before we visited our friends in the middle of October 2004, Shirley and I visited West Virginia. We went up the highest peak in West Virginia. It was cold, windy, and it was snowing though the snow wasn’t laying. The foliage was beautiful... Then we had a great visit with our friends.

After the year 2003 being a good year with my job, the latter half of 2004 I was not doing as well. I was starting to make mistakes. The year 2005 was rougher yet. I made more mistakes, and I admitted to my main supervisor that the workload seemed to be getting too much for me. The main supervisor said to me that they are starting to put more on the aides, and that it would be the best to let me go. I was offered a job as a housekeeper in the hospitality dept. I took the job in October 2005. As a housekeeper, I had a heavy work schedule. This job consisted of cleaning six dining rooms to clean ranging from a half hour to an hour to accomplish, two units where I had 2 bathrooms each to do, 2 tub rooms and two soiled utility rooms to clean. I also had much trash to gather 5 bins with about 25 small bags of resident’s pads that I needed to empty in the compactor. I had an average of six to twelve wheelchairs to clean every night. I started my job as a housekeeper at the age of sixty. For the next fifteen years, especially, a year ago have I been learning what God has been revealing to me on the way to be the happiest.

With my having jobs that made such a heavy workload it seemed as though as I was getting older that I had never worked so hard in my life. This has taught me to really seek the Lord as never before, I could see something that I didn’t realize was keeping me from experiencing more fully God’s love. It was my looking partly to what I do, and what others thought of me as the basis for self- worth. (Colossians 2: 8-10) I know my being born again makes me valuable to God. I had believed that alongside my being born again what also determined my worth and value was my being able to do well what God has assigned me to do. I really learned this truth from a home health aide job taking care of Wayne (a friend in the church). I started this job part time when I turned seventy. The first three years was pretty easy. Then the job started to gradually get more involved. Wayne had a neurological condition that bit by bit kept progressing. My duties consisted of personal care, shopping, taking him to doctor appointments, getting his medicine, and helping him with his bills. When I started working with my friend I started working 15 hours a week, then 20 hours, then 25 hours, then the last three months 30 to 40 hours a week. It seemed the job went from rough, to rougher, to rougher yet. It was getting to seem as though I wasn’t the good home health aide I use to be. My friend and his family really appreciated me, but I wasn’t satisfied with how I was performing. I was more forgetful, and less efficient with the job. I would get very tired.

After my friend passed away, I spent extra time reading, studying, and meditating on God’s Word. The Holy Spirit has been revealing to me that I am righteous (justified) before the Father. I am righteous due to my having a new nature that I got through faith in Jesus. In my spirit man where I have this new nature that is pure and holy I am fully acceptable to the Father. My being righteous is an established fact. Even if I have a day where I am frustrated and angry that doesn’t change my being righteous before the Father. All through my Christian life I always believed that I was accepted by the father through faith in Jesus. Knowing this I always knew God loved me. However, I never really understood that I am fully acceptable to the Father based on my having a new nature where I have confidence that God always loves me completely. 1 Corinthians 1:30 reading from the living Bible, “He is the one who made us acceptable to God, He made us pure and holy.” Being fully acceptable to God means that we are righteous that means we are justified before the Father. Being justified means that to the Father we are just-as-if-we-never sinned. In my soulish realm there are changes that are continuing to be made. What I have had to learn is not to trust in how well I keep God’s laws, how well I perform in the assignments ,or how I behave to continue to be righteous. I am already righteous even though there are weaknesses in the soulish realm. Knowing this truth brings great freedom.

One weakness I have always had is my being able to deal well with pressure. As I have gotten older it has been more difficult for me to be under pressure without my getting frustrated and angry. In working with my friend, the times of stress and pressure was worst when getting my friend to appointments on time. I would try to leave margin, but usually things would happen that I didn’t have that margin. God used those struggles to strip me of depending on how I perform and behave for God to fully love me. I have been learning that God completely loves me in-spite of the way I act at times. It is what Jesus did that I can know God’s perfect love. (Gal. 5:16, 6:14) Even when I don’t act the way I should, God does not see me as being like a sinner.

When I would look at my faults, I imagined the Father as only tolerating me, and just putting up with me. The Holy Spirit revealed to me that with being justified I am to the Father His beloved, His treasure, whom He greatly honors and favors. That is extravagant love! Father God loves me as much as He loves His son. (John 17:23) (1 Corinthians 13:5) God loves me this way for He keeps no record of wrongs. By the blood of Jesus, my sins are blotted out. God showed me these truths in my weakness.

As I have been coming to understand better who I am in Christ, and God’s great love, this enables me to be led better by the spirit. I am learning not to press past my limits as I am getting older. When I was working as a housekeeper at the Lutheran Home I struggled with trying to be as efficient as any other worker. The company I worked for did not want to pay overtime. I always wanted to do a good job, not just an average job. I believe doing a good job is a good witness as a Christian. However, I really pushed myself to be both efficient and to do a good job. It was really tough for me to work the way I did being in my sixties.

In the beginning of 2019, with me still working with my friend and the job getting more involved where I should have cut back from five to three days a week being 73 to 75, I could not enjoy my job much.. When I was still working as an aide pushing 60, then pushing myself as a housekeeper in the late sixties, being stressed out with the job with my friend at seventy five, I was outside the grace of God. Through it all I have learned to trust God coming to know God’s love better by having a true understanding of God’s grace being that I don’t earn God’s blessings.

Shirley and I are actively involved in our church. She does what is called Power Points during the Sunday service. She puts the words to praise hymns and sermon notes on the screen. Shirley is actively involved in Operation Christmas Child. Our church packs up shoe boxes once a year. Throughout the year Shirley and church ladies make toys out of beads, put design on clothes pins, and other things. These boxes through Samaritians Purse get shipped to under privileged children throughout the world.

I attend Tuesday morning men’s Bible study, and on Friday the men pray, then go to breakfast at a restaurant. I do writings that encourage people, and I hand out to the people in the church as the Lord directs.

The reason I was miserable in the years that were the roughest before I got saved was due to my not having a love relationship with the Lord. I was miserable basing my self- worth in how I did in school, in work, and my parent’s opinion of me. When my mom passed away suddenly I didn’t draw strength from the Lord. Real freedom lies in getting our self- worth from God alone.

What we want in life is peace and joy. With peace there is an inner rest. I have heard it said from ministers that joy is a calm delight. It is experiencing real satisfaction, and contentment. Peace and joy comes from knowing the truth about God’s goodness, knowing God has a good opinion of you, and thinking about heaven.

The truth about God’s goodness is that God wants us to know His goodness not just in the good things He gives us, and in physical healing. God wants us to go deeper in our relationship with Him. God wants us to experience His goodness in how God upholds us, sustains, comforts, and strengthens us in the midst of the difficult places in our lives. God wants us to be content even when we don’t have what we want. God promises to be what we need for the abundant life. (John 10:10) Some of the verses that tells of how God is everything we need is Philippians 4:13 of the amplified Bible, “I have strength for all things in Christ who empowers me, (I am ready for anything, and equal to anything through Him who infuses inner strength into me. I am self- sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency.” In 2 Corinthians 1:3 we read, “The Father of compassion, and the God of all comfort.” Knowing God’s goodness motivates thanksgiving.

An important thing to know to having peace and joy is to believe that God has a good opinion of you...It can be tough to imagine God has a good opinion of you if you think that is something we need to strive for. Christians may believe that they need to be nearly perfect in manifesting Christ likeness, always doing enough, and fulfilling completely God’s plan for their lives before God will be pleased with them. Even though God being pleased with us is not automatic, it is still a gift. In order to believe that for Father God to be pleased with us is a gift is to know we are righteous as a gift. We can be confident that God is pleased with us if we are not self- righteous where we will drift in the Christian life. Some Christians may believe that to say that God has a good opinion of us is promoting complacency. I believe knowing that God is pleased with us already motivates us to come up higher in doing what pleases the Father. Scriptures that shows that God has a good opinion of us is (Colossians 1:21-23, 2:10)( Zep.3:17)

What really will enable us to have joy and peace is in our experiencing God’s goodness in the difficult places in our lives will profit us forever. In 2 Corinthians 4:17 we read, “This momentary light affliction is earning for us an eternal weight of glory.” I believe what this verse means is through the tough times along with the outward blessings having come into a deeper relationship with God heaven will be more glorious. It could be in heaven we will be closer to God, and God will be closer to us. The greatest thing about heaven is that we will be with God. In heaven with our always being with God being closer to God everything we do in heaven, worship, serving God, being with friends and loved ones will be more joyous. That is a reason to rejoice.

We can experience a bit of heaven now. As we seek the Lord, come to know God better, get our worth and value in how God sees us and knowing God’s good opinion of us we can have real freedom. With our continuing to be more like Jesus, sharing God’s love, involved in the church is how we can be the happiest now.